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第51章快乐三明治EnjoyEverySandwich
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查尔斯·扎诺尔CharlesZanor
IdidnotknoarrenZevonwasuntillastyear,whenhisimpehfromluhenews.Hewasasinger-soturhatIwasveryfamiliarwithoneofhispieces-thefamouswerewolfsongthatblaresfromthejukeboxwhileTomCruisepraoriouslyarouableinTheohasalwaysbeenoneofmyfavoritemovieses.
Zevon'sillnessprovokedaseemishowofsupportfromothersibusiness.DavidLettermauredhimforaireshoointaskedhimifhisillnesshadgivenhimanywisdoZevon'srespo;Enjoyeverysandwich."
Tocharacterizethismessageasinspirationalisprobablyoverthetop,butgrahismudsinrefreshingtrasttothestoriesofothervictimsoflife-threateareiobeinspirationalbutendupsouheprotagonistsialesmeetanyge,ymountainanddrawtheirlastbreathwithoptimismandgrace.
Iadmirethetake-chargeattitudeandenergyofsuchpeople,butIhavenothinginoheybearlittleresemblaoanyoneIknow.Zevon,however,Irelateto.
InFebruaryof2002Iwasdiaghlymphoma.SiimeIhavebeeinglyawarethattheworld-beaterstoriesaresimplyparterspiracytogeteveryorytolivelifetothefullest-travelmore,learntoplaythetuba,teachrahefalloftheRomanEmpire,buildourowurreeiyardintosaladbowlsforthewholeneighborhood.
&heseventuresisfinewheself(exceptmaybeforthesalad-bowlthing),butIamsuspiciousoftheculturalimperativethatwhetherwearesioreisbetter.Ihavehosewho,facedhichealthevent,utmorepinsintheirmaps,buttherearesomeofuswhosimplyfindrenewedmeaningiingworlds.
Siherapytreatment,Ihaveexperiencedsmall"Zen"rushes-airanquilitycoupledwiththeheightewhatIamdoingatthatmomelywhatIwanttobedoiherI'msittier,readingabookinbed,ealamoviewithmywife.Ihadthesemomentsbefnosis,butnotasoftenoraseasily.
Thissenseofwell-beingisawelege,butI'tsaythatitisduetoamajorshiftinmypriorities.Thegesherehavebeensmallones.Ididnotyselfparticularlymaterialisticbeforecer,butIamdefinitelylesssoobehungrytoseeliveperformances-plays,symphonies,siIammoreeasilysatisfiedthesedays,andIdon'tfeelasmuchthatIammissihingifIdon'tgo.Familyandfriendshavealwaysbeenimportacerhasaaratingthosewhoarethosewhoarenot.
Durimyhair,myappetiteandato.Mycolorwaslousyandmyvoicewasweak.IhadtronpliversatioIthoughtImadeaprettygoodimpression,buttomysurprisesomepeopleavoidedme.Otherswererelehful.
Theclichésaboutsidmarriagearetrue-thetestedrelatioaythesame.Iwasfeinherloveandsupport.Inthegroundwarthatiseos;dbethereodays.
直到去年听到瓦伦·泽冯因患肺癌而生命垂危的消息,我才知道他是谁。
他身兼歌手与作词者身份,而我比较熟悉的他的一首歌曲就是那首著名的《狼人》歌曲。
影片《金钱本色》中,汤姆·克鲁斯绕着台球桌昂首阔步地走着,自动唱片点唱机里播放着的就是这首歌曲,而那一直是我最喜爱的电影场景之一。
泽冯的病情引发了娱乐界人士看似发自内心的支持。
大卫·莱特曼还特意为他制作了一期电视节目,并在节目中询问泽冯对他的疾病有什么感触。
泽冯的回答是:“享受每一份三明治。”
如果说这句话很令人振奋,也许有点儿夸张,可是它的确给了我很多启发——它与那些受疾病威胁、危及生命的患者的故事形成了对比,那些故事旨在振奋人心,听起来却不合乎人之常情。
这些故事中的主角勇于挑战,什么山都敢爬,最终乐观且体面地结束了生命。
我敬仰这些人积极的人生态度以及他们的精力,然而我与他们没有丝毫共同点,而且他们和我认识的任何一个人都没有相似之处。
但是,我和泽冯有着相同的感触。
2002年2月,我被诊断患上了淋巴癌。
从那一刻起,我渐渐认识到,那些令人惊异的故事只不过是更大阴谋的一部分,它的目的就在于让居住在这个国家的每一个人过上最充实的生活:多旅游,学会演奏大号,给我们的孙辈讲述罗马帝国的衰败,造自己的车床,用前院的那棵樱桃树做成沙拉碗并送给所有邻居。
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