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第40章享受独处AloLonely
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佚名Anonymous
Itscaresusmorethanadeath—beingalone.
Ourfearofalonenessissoigiventhechoigbyourselveswithothersweoptforsafetyinheexpenseinpainful，b，ortpany.
Amoreofusthaneverarealone.
WhilemanyAmerishavetheirsololifestylesthrustonthem—peopledie，peoplegoaway—ahugeandgrowingpopulationisgtobealone.
In1955，oenU.S.householdssistedofoneperson.By1999，theproportiohree.Singlemeedfor38.9millioion's110.5millionhouseholds.By1999，sihuheageofeighteenmadeup27.3pertofthenation's70.9millionfamilyhouseholds.Meanwhile，manymoreAmerisarediv.Ihreedecades，thenumberofdivordwomehanquadrupled—toatotalof18.3millionin1996，paredto4.3millionin1970.NeverbeforeinAmerihistoryhaslivihepredomiyle.
&heless，wepersistiionthatasolitaryexistepeeout.Weloathebeiime，anywhere，forwhateverreason.Fromchildhoodwe'reedtoacceptthatwheivelyapany，thatlosidersyearherthanpeoplewhoaretwiththeiro>
Alone，wesquanderlifebyrejegitsfullpotentialandwastingitsremainingpromises.Alohatexperiensharedarebarelyworthwhile，thatsusviewedsiasspectacular，thattimespentapartisfalloointless.
Andsowegrowoldbelievihingbyourselves，steadfastlyshuunitiesforself-disdpersonalgrowththatsolitudegus.
Wehaveevenedawordforthosewhoprefertobebythemselves:antisocial，asiftheywereenemiesofsociety.Theyareviewedasfriendless，suspeawoesaroundintwosormoreandiswaryofsolitarytravelers.
Peoplewhoneedpeoplearethreatenedbypeoplewhodon't.Theideaofseekialoical，forsocietysteadfastlydecreesthatourpletehers.Ioeachotherforsolafort，ay.
Ironically，mostofusapanionshipthanwebear.Webegrudgeourselves，ourspouses，andourpartnerssuffitphysidemroom，ahesuffoofourrelationships.
Topoisisnottosuggestweshouldabandonallourcloseties.Medicalsurveysshowthatthemajorityofelderlypeoplewholivealoaiactwithrelativesaetheirphysidemotionalwell-bei”
.Justasanappleadaykeptthedoctorawaywhentheywereyoung，anactivesodarappearstoservethesamepurposenow.
Butweobefriendandenjoyourselvesaswell.
&relearntobealoeadofplantingoursolitudewithdreamblossoms，wechokethespacewithusidchattertowhioteveissimplytheretofillthevacuuWe'tstandthesilence，becausesilencludesthinking.A，wewouldhavetofaceourselves.
&uslearhoseinsearchofwhattheyhaveofindandhold:peaile，essofspirit，dailyjoy.Whohaveetouhattoknowaobeofvaluetoothers，theyfirstmustknowandloveahemselves;thattofindtheirwayiheyhavetostartbyfindingthemselves.
除了死亡，我们最害怕的就是独处。
我们如此害怕独处，以至于让我们选择是独处还是跟别人在一起时，我们会选择后者以寻求安全感，甚至不惜付出如此多的代价：长久的痛苦、烦闷，或完全无法兑现的陪伴。
然而，现在，我们越来越多的人开始独处。
当许多美国人开始单身生活时——因为身边的人去世或离开——一个日益增加的庞大群体开始选择独身。
1955年，美国家庭中有十分之一的独居家庭。
到1999年，这个比例扩大到三分之一。
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